Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Institution Of Marriage


I am not sure why I choose this topic to write today, but somehow, I just feel I want to say something about this. Anyhow, it goes with the name of my blog, Luahanku, my voice...

Recently, there are too many news, where marriages are concerned, from some stars to some friends and relative that I come to hear and know off.
Of course when one is not happy with one's marriage, then both can choose the option to go separate ways. But why, in the first stage, you go for this stage of marriage, and then only some years later, you found that you want to be free or go separate ways. Marriage, in my opinion, is not for the sake of convenience or a way to demonstrate to society that your obligation has been fulfilled, as a human being. If one is never ready for any of such commitment, then one should not even consider having this at all. Let me illustrate by this example:
I have just met my friend in Shanghai that was a few weeks ago, and she mentioned to me, that her husband is having an affair. They were married for 2 years, a daughter, coming to a year-old soon, and known each other for more than 8 years, came back for him as soon as she finished her study in Australia. And guess what, he told her, that HE NEVER LOVES HER, can you believe this? And to make it worse, he went back to her former girlfriend, who also married, and having a kid of her own, 2 years of age, and at the same time cheating on her husband too. Take a look and consider. Is Marriage, with its vow to take care of each other until old age, has any meaning when things like this happens. I mean, if a couple really find they have some serious problems, and cannot find a solution, then it is better to opt out, though here again, the meaning of marriage is not fully served. Still, it is better than both having the pains. But for the partner to say that he never loves the other half, and having a daughter of 1 year old, is this not cheating, or is this not bullshitting, put it in blunt manner? Have human beings changed so much so, that actually, the meaning of marriage is just like buying a car, when you think it is old or you do not like it anymore, you can just sell it off, or give it away? The answer lies within.....
And far away back home, I heard a cousin who has been married like 20 years ago, is divorced now, because she falls in love with another guy. This may be sounds better than my friend's case, but then again, does it serve the purpose of a marriage? Again, the answer lies within......


Choong, Beijing

3 comments:

KateMa said...

I totally agree with u... Hey may I know which cousin????

Anonymous said...

Marriage, in most part of the world,especially oriental, has never been related only to two loving person. It has all to do with society expectation and family matters. As time progress, I believe many would regret that they compromised beforehand , and will try their best to seek the happiness they want, thus the number of divorce couple increases as the society modernized.

Sometimes it's hard to judge who is the person to blame. Rather than arguing for that, one should try to decide what will be the best for both party.If the decision is to seperate, then go divorce and continue a meaningful ,happy life.

However, if there is a child or children involved (young children), there will be complications no matter what you decide. The scar will always be there for him/her. Keep in mind before you take any vow or sign any divroce documents!

Devil

Poh Jen said...

Dear Fren,

Marriage is an art....all members, especially husb & wife must keep on filling in color in order to enjoy the results.