I have not written on my blog for sometime, not because I was lazy, but as you know I cannot use this while I am in China.
As we grow older, there are more thoughts coming to your mind, lots of them, and now I understood, on why as you free older, you have more grey hair (grey matters.....).
I have no particular topic to write, just that my fingers, they felt itchy, and I have to write something, just scribe something.....
This time of my coming back mark the sixth year of my dad passing away, time passes. And you know my dad's passing away date is around Fathers' day and it makes it very hard sometime, seeing all people celebrating and wishing their dads etc, and, both sis and myself, we have none to call our own....that is life I suppose...I am used to this, and I accept everything that is happening, but once it a while, you will "whine" a bit, to make yourself feel normal...
And when you know in this world, you are no longer (though you are mature and old enough to be on your own since a long time ago) having your parents around you, and you are technically, known as an orphan, sometimes, you feel very much you are the single entity in this universe, without any connection left for you, except may be the universe itself. That kind of feeling is kind of hard to explain if you have not reached that stage, or ever experience this.....but once you have it, you will understand what I meant. It is a kind of lost that is very hard to explain, and very hard to replace too....
But being a Buddhist you console yourself that you should not and cannot attached to anything ,...even your parents, hence perhaps it makes things better for yourself...haha...
And I think relationships sometimes is also not easy.....for some people. it happens easily....for some, it is hard....But I guess this is part of your destiny (your karma) and you cannot run away from it...
Good nite.
Choong
BM
