My Beloved Grandma--Mdm. Kok Kooi Hoe

Finally, I have a chance to write something about my grandma....the late Mdm Kok Kooi Hoe (郭贵好）。 I only have this copy of picture of her, and I took a copy using my smartphone and transferred it here so that I can write something here, in my blog to remember her, and a soft copy here so that somebody in the family can find some information about her in near future, though this is not important. It is mainly for me, my own memory of my beloved grandma.
This year mark the 32nd anniversary since Ah Ma passed away, and never a day I forgotten about her and as I grow older, especially now, I miss her even more....
Sometimes, I just imagine talking to her, just imagine her being around me, as usual, or sometimes, I just shout out loud, calling for her, esp when I am alone and when I miss her so much......Two days ago, while I was driving and listening to a Buddhism hymns, I suddenly felt I was so close to her, spiritually, though I do not know where she is now. How I wish she will appear at least in my dreams and let me know where she is, or how she is doing. In all my Dana and prayers on merit transfer, I always prayer and transfer merits for her. I hope she is going well, wherever  she is. Ah Ma, I hope you still remember me, wherever you are, as it will be hard for your grandson to forget you, and I still harbour the hope to meet you when it is time for me to leave this world, at least I have a chance to say hello to you or hug you, wherever you are.
Ah Mah, I miss you, and as I write this article, I suddenly become more emotional.....teardrops fell freely from my eyes, I guess each drop representing how much I miss you my dear Ah Mah.
There are simply too many memories for me, with you, and I am sorry not being a good grandson, especially when I was a boy....but you were very patient and your love knows no barrier......I miss you when I come home from school, the first person I will look for and the first person I will call for, upon entering the door to our house... and you will be seating next to your room facing the dining table, with my lunch ready.......Ah Mah......................
I miss you my beloved grandma, and wherever you are, I hope you well, and I will keep on offering dana in your name and prayers. And I hope you have met Ah Pa and all uncles and aunties who have since joined you......
The memories will always linger on, until the day when I am not in control of my form anymore, or until the day when I do not need memory to remember you and talk to you...

Until then, good nite grandma, and may you be happy always, wherever you are, in the universe.

Sincerely,

Your grandson who misses you a lot,
Ah Heng.