Parents

Many times, I think children, when they are far away from parents, and esp when they are still young (less than 40), most of them will think that taking care of their parents are just a matter of providing money,,,,,,,that should be significant enough.

When I was that age, I am also sometimes having a problem like that, and if you a male, and not too closely communicating with your parents, then sometimes, you feel there is a wall... But somehow, I think I still did a good job, I stayed with my dad after my sis got married, and was away only for 3 years from the house and back again, and staying with him until 5 years before his passing away. I took care of the house, and although we spoke more in the last few years, and little at a stage of time, nevertheless, I was still a company to him, and the same time, him, to me. This I appreciate until now.
Even when I was in KL working for 2.5 years, I was constantly back, leaving KL on Friday, and going back to KL on Monday or sometimes Sunday, just to make sure the house is clean (and at least take a look what is happening around). This I disciplinary did for the time period I was in KL, and even when I was traveling for business, I think I never failed to go home at least once every month.
And the best part is, while I was working in Beijing and my dad felt sick, I still managed to take care of him for a week, alone. It was not easy (for sure my sis did most part), but when i looked back, I think as a son, I did what I need to, and I am really glad that I did.

The reason I wrote this is because I found sometimes, people tend to be ignorant, and take their parents compromise for granted. thinking everything is okay, acceptable, by going for a short vacation, by eating 2-3 meals, by buying a gift, the parents are somehow fine with it.
And sometimes, they might be avoiding some issues, might not want to face reality, might be finding all sort of excuses (this was arranged by mum, I am in difficult situation, standing in between A&B, the place is more convenient for my children, etc), they forgotten, when they do this, the parents or parent would be heart broken, waiting day and nite for the child or children to visit. And they forget that they are far away, and actually, this means nothing, when they are able to take care and accompany their parents as much as possible. And in instances like this, even if they need to rent a place, to rent a car, to take a taxi, to walk or worst, crawling back home, they need to....it is needed, no excuses. It should be very clear, cause they are parents themselves, and would they expect this from their parents, or have they, because of new environment they live in, the culture they absorbed, they think this is a norm? You take care of yourself........I am independent.., But have they forgotten where their roots are, and who they are, and how much the parent love him or her...more than himself.......
It is worthwhile to reflect.

I am annoyed, really annoyed. And I guess my sister who is much more patient than me, are equally if  not more annoyed. I am writing this, cause it is happening in a relative's family, and I hate this. I think it is not fair to parent here. Whether this person is awake, and is clear what she does, I am not sure. But I do not buy her, whatever reasons and excuses she gave to me. A person who do not know how to be gratitude, and who do not keep her promises, and very much "westernised" culture wise, and forgotten her root, sorry, i am not able to accept that. Wish this person all the best.

Choong
Selayang