GoodBye Pa.........

These were the hardest words to say, when we (especially sister and myself) walked my Pa to the funeral parlour. But we have to face it anyhow, no matter how. But during this period of time, I just could not believe that, I have so many friends that called, that visited, that sent messages/mails, and even one friend that drove from KL just to chat with me for 1.5 hours, and then drove back again, and my best friend in S'pore who talked to me until 3am on the way back from Beijing to Penang. And so many wreaths that were sent to us, just the way I hope the funeral to be for my pa, with flowers and simple Buddhism ceremony.
And all the support from relatives and cousins that come from near and far, since day 2, my uncles and aunts, all of them were there in the house.
Some times, we might not believe in life after death, but you knew the presence of his spirit in many forms. And we could not explain why there was a butterfly, a big one, on the nite I came back, and before we 'sent' dad off to crematorium. But anyhow, there is no need to explain this further, as long as we know and feel his presence, it is more than enough.
The most painful thing throughout this period of time, was when dad's coffin was being pushed into the incinerator, that was went our tear drops fell, like free flow water. In fact, it was hard, as the monks and nuns asked us not cry or shed any tears, you imagine that. Biting your lips and tear drops fell without ever making any crying sound. That is hard baby!! And the worst part is not over, the nite after the funeral, and nites after that were even worse. When I was at Penang airport waiting for flight to Beijing, I could not contain my sadness, not even talking on the phone with friends who called to wish me well.
As I write this, my heart is still painful, but letting go after grieving for a period of time helps a lot.
And I am grateful too that I manage to take a short time break to Potala temple in Tibet, and here I managed to offer some prayers, for Pa.

I am wordless now, to friends and relatives that came over during my dad's passing away, and messages that I received after that. Domo arigatou, I appreciate it a lot and my sincere thanks from the bottom of my heart. And also to my dearest sister and my cousin for being with Pa until his last breath.

Dad passed away on 2 July 2009 (Chinese calendar, 5月初十)
Funeral was on 6 July 2009.
Cremated in Berapit Crematorium, and laid to eternal rest at Tanah Liat Siamese temple, with new address of 1708 (that was the date for first seventh day, 头七).

With sincere thanks,

Choong, Beijing